Posts Tagged ‘pride preventing receiving the blessings intended for us’

Joshua 10:1-15 (Part 1 of 2)

Israel Defeats the Southern Armies

You know that is an old saying that says, “Forgive and forget!” I think that forgiveness is really in the remembering but forgiving anyway. We cannot “forget” situations where we have been betrayed. It is simply impossible to un-remember or forget what someone has done to us. Forgiveness truly is the ability to forgive someone even though you have vivid memories of what they have done to you. That is real forgiveness. Forgiveness is still feeling the pain of the deception or betrayal when you think of it, but, yet, giving that person grace. By all rights we should be able to tell them to take a long walk off a short pier. Or any of a number of clichés about ill will toward another person.

 

I remember this concept well when it came during the first separation that I had with my second wife. We had been separated for about 9 months at that point in our first separation. There were mutual reasons why we separated. I did some stupid things with money that put our lifestyle in jeopardy and she reacted to it by returning to the party lifestyle she had before we met and ended up having an affair at work (she had returned to work after having been a stay at home mom for the previous two and half years). She would stay out all night and when I would get angry about it she would withdraw further into her circle of single friends, which made me further insecure. It was a vicious circle from which we could not escape. We finally separated over these issues. Even though I still loved her, by nine months later, I had accepted the reality that she was seeing other people and was enjoying the single life and had no desire to be back with me. On the other hand, it had been difficult for me to recover from our separation. It was really, really tough because I was still pining away for her. However, one weekend in November 2000, when she had gone to the beach with her cousin and some of her single gal pals and this guy friend and some of his guy friends. It was to be this wild weekend where she celebrated her birthday at the beach (in November!). But in the middle of the night, like at 1am in the morning, she calls me on the house phone at the lake house of my parents in Anderson, SC where I had been living for the previous 9 months since the separation.

 

“Come get me!” were the first words she said to me over the phone. Not even a “hi” or a “hello”. Just “Come get me!”. I could have easily said “go to hell, bitch!” and hung up the phone. There had been so many times during that separation that I wanted us to get back together but was rebuffed to the point that I was actually, finally dating again after 6 months or more of sulking away. By all rights, I could have told her to go to that place of the gnashing of teeth and burning of flesh. But I didn’t. I knew all the pain that I felt over what had happened to our marriage but I got up and drove to the beach in 4 hours, including getting a speeding ticket on the way. Something had happened between her and the guy that she rode to the beach with and she was now stranded with no room and no way home. I set aside all the pain and went and rescued her. Because I rescued her from God know what (which I never asked about and she never told), she decided to ask me to come back to our marital home. I severed ties with anyone whom I had been dating and rushed back home. It was what I wanted. I was happier than a pig in slop at the notion of us getting back together.

 

But I think God’s reasoning for us getting back together was so that I could guide my second wife and her two youngest sons through the death of her oldest son. Three months after we got back together, her oldest son was killed in a car accident on the night of February 25, 2002. I think that my second wife and her kids would have come completely unglued and gone off the deep end if I had not been part of their lives in the aftermath of his death. But ultimately, the ungodly jealousies of my kids vs. your kids, one of the many undercurrents that were at play in our relationship undid the marital bliss than had been re-established that one night when I rescued her from that bad situation in Myrtle Beach. When my daughter went off to college, she though our obligations to my child had ended and wanted me “to cut the apron strings” as she said. I could not do that to my oldest child. That comment led to me hiding my financial support for my daughter from my second wife. It all came to light in August 2004 and our marriage ended again. All the old struggles and jealousies were just too much for it to survive. And she wasted no time meeting someone and was living with another guy within three months. Although I left the marriage initially because I chose my child over the second wife, I was able to get a divorce on the grounds of her adultery. This time the separation was permanent and I never looked back again. No more pining away for her. I knew this was the end. There was just too much that this marriage not centered on God, not established in God, could survive. I knew I was doing the right thing. My children were my priority and I should have never had to choose between my girls and my second wife. I knew this time it was final and it was for real.

 

Isn’t strange how this all worked out though when you look back at it? God brought us back together because he could see the tragedy that was going to happen. We were back together from November 2000 until our final separation in August 2004. Her oldest son’s death was almost perfectly right in the middle of that time frame. That’s the thing that I see as one of the two reasons for the reconciliation. One was for me to be there during the tragedy and the recovery time after it. The second was for me to see that nothing much had changed in our marriage (my kids vs. your kids) and to see my second wife with the rose colored glasses off. That had to be the purpose. There was a clarity about the future when the marriage ended for good. No longer was my second wife my god. I saw her with fresh eyes of clarity.

That idea of remembering betrayal but forgiving anyway so that we can reap God’s true blessings for us was what I thought of this morning as I read through Joshua 10:1-15 for the first of two times. Lets read it together now:

 

10 Now Adoni-Zedek king of Jerusalem heard that Joshua had taken Ai and totally destroyed[a] it, doing to Ai and its king as he had done to Jericho and its king, and that the people of Gibeon had made a treaty of peace with Israel and had become their allies. 2 He and his people were very much alarmed at this, because Gibeon was an important city, like one of the royal cities; it was larger than Ai, and all its men were good fighters. 3 So Adoni-Zedek king of Jerusalem appealed to Hoham king of Hebron, Piram king of Jarmuth, Japhia king of Lachish and Debir king of Eglon. 4 “Come up and help me attack Gibeon,” he said, “because it has made peace with Joshua and the Israelites.”

 

5 Then the five kings of the Amorites—the kings of Jerusalem, Hebron, Jarmuth, Lachish and Eglon—joined forces. They moved up with all their troops and took up positions against Gibeon and attacked it.

 

6 The Gibeonites then sent word to Joshua in the camp at Gilgal: “Do not abandon your servants. Come up to us quickly and save us! Help us, because all the Amorite kings from the hill country have joined forces against us.”

 

7 So Joshua marched up from Gilgal with his entire army, including all the best fighting men. 8 The Lord said to Joshua, “Do not be afraid of them; I have given them into your hand. Not one of them will be able to withstand you.”

 

9 After an all-night march from Gilgal, Joshua took them by surprise. 10 The Lord threw them into confusion before Israel, so Joshua and the Israelites defeated them completely at Gibeon. Israel pursued them along the road going up to Beth Horon and cut them down all the way to Azekah and Makkedah. 11 As they fled before Israel on the road down from Beth Horon to Azekah, the Lord hurled large hailstones down on them, and more of them died from the hail than were killed by the swords of the Israelites.

 

12 On the day the Lord gave the Amorites over to Israel, Joshua said to the Lord in the presence of Israel:

 

“Sun, stand still over Gibeon,

    and you, moon, over the Valley of Aijalon.”

13

So the sun stood still,

    and the moon stopped,

    till the nation avenged itself on[b] its enemies,

 

as it is written in the Book of Jashar.

 

The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day. 14 There has never been a day like it before or since, a day when the Lord listened to a human being. Surely the Lord was fighting for Israel!

 

15 Then Joshua returned with all Israel to the camp at Gilgal.

 

In this passage, we see that Joshua has integrity. After having been deceived by Gibeonites, Joshua and the leaders of Israel could have been slow to respond (or not at all) to the Gibeonites’ request for the armies of Israel to save them. Instead, they responded immediately to the call for help. How willing would you be to help someone who had deceived you even though you had forgiven that person? We should always take our word, our promises to others as seriously as Joshua did here.

 

When I look back on my own situation where I forgave despite remembering pain and deception, I wonder what if? What if I had not responded to her cry for help in November 2000? What if I had not jumped out of bed, not thinking of the hurt, the pain, the deceptions, the arguments, and drove all night to get her. I would not have been in the place where God needed me to be in February 2002 and I would not have learned the true nature of that relationship. Sometimes, we have to forget deception and pain and our pride to do what God calls us to do or what God wants us to learn. Sometimes God calls us to do things that will require us to forgive even though the pain and pride are painful. Sometimes, we must forgive even though we remember so that we can obtain what God has in store for us.

 

If I had been able to see what my second marriage was really made of by that getting back together in November 2000, where would I be today. I would not have the blessings that I have now. If I had not forgiven though I remembered, I would not have ever seen my second wife for her true nature and been able to set myself free from worshiping her as a god. I would not have ever grown up. I would been her puppet for years. I would have never opened my eyes to her without that reconciliation period. I would not be where I am today without saying yes to God’s plan that night in November.

 

Just as Joshua could have easily told the Gibeonites to go to hell because of their deception and the pain that it caused him. But he forgave, though remembering, and came to their defense. If he had not done that, he may have never had another opportunity to have the armies of all the hill country kings all together in one place at one time – ever again. Pride can cause us not to forgive. Pride can cause us to miss out on what God really has in store for us.

 

God could have pride if that were in His nature. He could have pride and literally tell us to go to hell. He remembers each and every betrayal we have committed against Him. He remembers every one of our sins and betrayals and deceptions against Him. He could forever hold it against us. God has a long memory. He does not forget our sins. But he loves us enough to not want to see us permanently separated from Him in hell. He gave up His Son on the cross as the permanent resolution to our sin problem. God forgives us through His Son’s sacrifice. He loves us that much. He loves us even though we have hurt Him so badly with our sins and our raising our fist in the air at Him. When we say to the Lord, even though we do not deserve His grave, “Come get me!” God comes to us through Jesus Christ. He remembers all our sins but comes to us regardless. What if God did not come to us and rescue us? He has every right not to! He is not God and we are sinners. He does not need us. He could just write us off and tell us to go to hell, literally. But he offers salvation to all those who call out to Him to come rescue them.

 

Joshua could have said go to hell to the Gibeonites, but He kept his word. He was able to reap great blessings from not being prideful and saying go to hell to the Gibeonites. Sometimes our inability to forgive others because of the pain they have caused us, prevents us from being freed from that pain and obtaining the real blessings that God has for us. Sometimes it’s hard I know. But by forgiving (even though we can never forget), we let loose the idol that the pain has become and only then can we find the path that God wants us to walk down.

 

Amen and Amen.

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