1 Samuel 14:47-52 – Sometimes, You Have To Wait A While for the Sunshine

Posted: January 22, 2018 in 09-1 Samuel
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1 Samuel 14:47-52
Saul’s Military Successes

When I was going through my divorce from my first wife, it was a horrendously bitter divorce. I think that she became obsessed with making my life miserable. She harassed me at work with phone calls during my work day. She would harass the receptionist when I would not answer my direct line. She would leave nasty, hateful voicemails on my work phone and my home phone (yes, this was back in 1993-1994 when cell phone were still very exclusive and land lines and pay phones were still the main ways to communicate). Once she figured out that I would not be harassed into returning home to the hell that was our home prior to the separation, she began refusing to allow me to have my visitations with my daughters as prescribed by our separation agreement (I was supposed to get my girls every other weekend from Friday at 6pm to Sunday at 6pm and then on Wednesdays for three hours on the weeks that I did not get them on the weekend). After about attempting and being denied my children for several months, I decided to go back to my divorce attorney and file a contempt of court complaint against my estranged wife for violation of the separation agreement terms about visitation.

Her getting served with the papers caused a firestorm in and of itself from Lisa and even from her mother. The harassment was disconcerting and deflating at times. All I was doing was trying to see my girls that I dearly loved. However, I was being treated as if I was a traitor and was destroying the girls by wanting to see them. They treated me with disgust, contempt, derision and whatever other negative emotion you can think of. They were offended that I had fought back against them for preventing me from seeing my kids. They thought, they really did, that I deserved to be punished in this way for destroying the family and the girls. There was no recognition of the mistakes that Lisa had made in our relationship that drove me away. That was OK I guess by their point of view. So when we finally got our court date, I had not been able to see my girls in probably four or five months solid by that point. Then, at court, as a defense for her not allowing me to see my children, Lisa claimed that I had molested my oldest daughter on the last weekend visitation that she had allowed me to have with them and that was why she was preventing the girls from going with me all those months. Nuclear bomb dropped. I was devastated at the accusation (because it was most assuredly not true). I figured that there was no way that the court would believe that. I figured the would see it for the lie that it was as a justification for just plain out spite all these months. C’mon guys, can’t you see what she’s doing?

But that starting in motion a rollercoaster ride that none of us would get off until three years later when I finally got custody of my girls in 1996. DSS became a fixture in our lives. For the first six months after the accusation, I was not allowed to see my children at all. I was treated like a criminal. I even had to take lie detector test with the Sheriff’s Department. Even though I passed the test and was cleared by the Sheriff’s Office as they believed me that I had done nothing and that this was simply a court tactic by my ex-wife. However, that didn’t keep DSS from being in our lives. That didn’t keep DSS for many months thinking that I was a danger to my kids. But as they started working with Lisa, they began to see the truth of who she was and what she was about. However, it took an incident outside the courtroom after one of the multitude of DSS hearings that we had for the tide to begin to turn in my favor. Right there in the middle of lobby of family court in downtown Greenville, Lisa and her mother started screaming and yelling at me in front of everyone (including my girls) about how I was destroying the girls and calling me ugly things in front of lawyers involved in the case for DSS, my lawyer, her lawyers and a host of unconcerned witnesses. It was ugly, mean, and disgusting. Even though I was not a saved soul at that point in my life, the Lord held my tongue because I needed to come across as the calmer, more reasonable member of my children’s family. With the previously beginning to mount evidence concerning my ex-wife vindictive nature, toxic attitudes toward me that she was instilling in the girls, and just her unstable nature, this ugly, ugly public display was the last straw to DSS concerning the environment that my girls were living in. It was not long after that display that the girls were removed from Lisa’s care.

Once that happened, I thought well that’s finally over with and DSS finally sees what I had been dealing with for a year. However, DSS gave custody of my children to my parents (which in hindsight was the best thing for them – to get them out of Greenville and away from the nastiest divorce ever). DSS continued to be in our lives until 1996 when I was granted custody of my girls. It was a long, hard road from 1993-1996. My ex-wife also remarried in 1996 and the firestorm that was her nature about me dissipated greatly (though her hatred for me continued until she died at the young age of 55 in July 2015). Those years, from 1993-1996, from the time Lisa and I split up until she remarried not long after I was granted custody of my kids was a long and arduous road. It was a time that though I 99% of the time took the high road in my dealings with Lisa, it just seemed the hatred she had for me was the victor. She was a charming one and could tell people what they wanted to hear so as to cover her real motives. It seemed as though the truth was a lost art in the separation and divorce. It seemed that my trying to take the high road and not reacting to all her hatred was the wussy way of dealing with her. It seemed to never end that the hatred was the victor. It took a long time for the truth of her motives to come out. It took a long time for people to see how toxic she really was. It took a long time for people to see that I was not the Satan that she portrayed me to be. It all just took too long. It was a painful experience that can dredge up emotions that can send chills down my spine if I let myself think about it even today some twenty plus years after the fact.

That was the thing that I thought about this morning is how even though Saul was told my God through Samuel that he was not the anointed king of Israel that he was allowed to have great victories. It got me to thinking about how and why sometimes people with evil or selfish motives often are allowed to have the sunlight for long periods of time over the righteous. Not that I was a righteous person before my salvation in 2001 nor am I deserving of the righteous label on my own merit now, I was a good person who grew up as a preacher’s kid and was taught to do the right thing no matter what. I was taught not trade evil with evil. I was no saint but I didn’t purposely try to hurt people. Reading this passage made me think of that long stretch in 1993-1996 where it just seemed that those with malice in their hearts are often victors for long periods of time over people with kind hearts. Why is that? It leads you to think about God’s sovereignty and why he allows things to happen the way that they happen. With that in mind, let’s read this passage now, 1 Samuel 14:47-52:

47 Now when Saul had secured his grasp on Israel’s throne, he fought against his enemies in every direction—against Moab, Ammon, Edom, the kings of Zobah, and the Philistines. And wherever he turned, he was victorious.[a] 48 He performed great deeds and conquered the Amalekites, saving Israel from all those who had plundered them.

49 Saul’s sons included Jonathan, Ishbosheth,[b] and Malkishua. He also had two daughters: Merab, who was older, and Michal. 50 Saul’s wife was Ahinoam, the daughter of Ahimaaz. The commander of Saul’s army was Abner, the son of Saul’s uncle Ner. 51 Saul’s father, Kish, and Abner’s father, Ner, were both sons of Abiel.

52 The Israelites fought constantly with the Philistines throughout Saul’s lifetime. So whenever Saul observed a young man who was brave and strong, he drafted him into his army.

When we read this passage, a question come to mind, “Why was Saul so successful right after he had disobeyed God and been told that his reign would end?” (remember 1 Samuel 13:13-14). Sometimes, ungodly people win battles. Victory is neither guaranteed nor limited to the righteous. God provides according to His will. God might have given Saul success for the sake of His people, not for Saul. He might have left Saul on the throne for a while to utilize his military talents so that David, Israel’s next king could spend more time focusing on the nation’s spiritual battles, developing the people into a more cohesive nation, and fleshing out the infrastructure of the nation. Regardless of God’s reasons for delaying Saul’s demise, his reign ended exactly the way God had foretold. The timing of God’s plans and promises is known only to Him. Our task is to commit our ways to God and then trust Him for the outcome.

For me, that experience with my ex-wife taught me that good does triumph over evil and that no good ever comes from repaying evil with evil. I so wanted to swing at my ex-wife’s pitches in the dirt. I did so want to retaliate with a tit for each tat. But God and my earthly father kept telling me to hold on, don’t swing, don’t retaliate and that Lisa would reveal her true self to those that mattered in due time. It just seemed like it was taking forever for those revelations to come about. I grew weary under the strain of the harassment and having to keep my cool in the face of the hatred. Sometimes it takes a long time as you are walking through an evil time.

Sometimes, we wonder at why God is taking so long to answer our prayers. Sometimes, we wonder at why God is allowing evil to have victory over us, as it seems from our perspective. One thing that I learned from that whole experience is that you have to trust God to pull you through the tough times. Hang on to that sliver of hope that is God whispering in your ear that things will get better. Even if you are impatient with God about answering your prayer, realize that He is God and that the righteous, the humble, those who love the Lord will have the sunshine on their face in the future. We have hope in eternity through Jesus Christ. We have hope that brings joy even in the toughest of times. We can have joy even when life seems to be total crap around us. What I learned from that (and especially have seen it since my salvation) that God never forgets us and that our hard times are to teach us real faith in Him. It is when it seems that life is falling apart or when it seems that God is not doing things the way we want Him to is when we learn real faith in Him. Sometimes, he sends us through a dry place, a desert, a tough time, a time when it seems He is not answering us to teach us to trust in His sovereignty.

My experience has been that God will give us the sunshine in His due time and that we simply have to straight up trust Him sometimes (when there is no evidence that we should by human standards). Trust in God no matter what. Even is the yuckiest of times, He is there. He is teaching. He is teaching us to straight up, all-in to trust in His Sovereignty.

Amen and Amen.

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