Isn’t It Ironic — Jealousy Destroys That Which We Want To Keep or Makes Us Cheapen The Blessings We Have

Posted: July 19, 2015 in 1 Corinthians

1 Corinthians 13 — Today, as we continue in Paul’s description of love, we begin to look at what love is not. Today, we look at the fact that love is not jealous. Jealousy is ugly. It consumes and burns up. It sucks life out of us and others. Have you ever seen jealousy destroy a relationship? We all have I am sure. The sad thing is often the jealous party cannot see what they are doing. They are blinded by jealousy. There was a song back in the mid-90’s by Alanis Morrisette called “Ironic”. Part of the lyrics were “it’s a free ride when you’ve already paid.” Other lyrics from the song include, “it’s like rain on your wedding day. It’s a no smoking sign on your cigarette break.” It was a song about the ironies of life that we must laugh at if we are to survive. There is irony in jealousy is there not? Jealousy makes us fear losing what we have or makes us desire something we don’t. The irony is that it makes us miss the blessings of life right in front of us.

There are two types of jealousy. One definition would be the feeling of being threatened by a rival in a romantic relationship or losing something of value to another person which happens to be yours already. The second is type of jealousy is a hatred or bitterness towards another person for having an advantage that you don’t have. Fear of losing what you have and fear of not being able to have what you don’t have but want.

Jealousy can kill a romantic relationship because jealousy consumes everything in its path like a tornado. Jealousy means that there is a lack of trust toward the one you love. There is no love without trust. When I am jealous of my spouse or my significant other, I begin to smother the life out of the relationship. Always checking up on them. Always assuming the worst. Always thinking the worst. Never trusting. Smothering. These are the hallmarks of jealousy. Jealousy makes it so that no one can relax and be themselves in a relationship. Jealousy is self-serving. Jealousy states that what I believe is true and it does not matter what you do our say it will not change how I feel. Jealousy devalues your spouse or significant other. It merely makes them an object. Jealousy does not allow them to have true feelings that are valid. According to, jealousy keeps the jealous party anxious and suspicious and keeps their partner timid and on-edge, for fear of upsetting them. It sets up an environment of dishonesty because neither partner feels that they can ever let down their guard; they are never free to be themselves. This is no way to live. Jealousy consumes and burns up the very thing that we want to keep. Jealousy in a relationship makes us miss the smell the rose moments of today because we are fearful of what might happen. And if you are just afraid that something MIGHT happen, then you are inviting trouble into your life and your relationship with your insecurity, and you could be creating a self-fulfilling prophesy. Being fearful and spending your time and energy worrying about things that MIGHT happen, robs you of living in the present and enjoying the blessings of your life TODAY! Jealousy in a relationship is ultimately about us and not about the person that is the target of our affections. In the end, jealousy is not love. In order to love someone, you must trust. In order to love someone, you must not control them. In order to love someone, you must let go and let them flourish. We must trust for relationships to thrive. We must not keep the bird of our relationship covered up with our hands. We must open our hands and let it fly. To keep a relationship, you must let it go and trust that it will come back to you.

Jealousy can be about something that you do not have as well. You can become so consumed with something that you don’t have that you miss life. There are those that are jealous of another’s wealth, another’s athletic ability, another’s beauty, another’s writing skill, another’s public speaking skill, you name it, we can be jealous of it. I can be jealous of you because you have a trophy wife. I can be jealous of you because you have a finer house than me. I can be jealous of you have a finer car than me. I can be jealous of you because your career has come so easy to you and my road has been hard. Jealous in this situation makes gods out of other people. What they have you want. If you get it though there is an emptiness in it because the person you are jealous of is already on to something else. Jealousy makes me react instead of act. Jealousy makes another person in control of my life. Jealousy makes another person live rent-free in my head. Jealousy makes another person the object of my life and often it is without that person realizing it.

These things are not love my friends. Jealousy separates us from God. Jealousy is self-centered. It makes me the broker of what is good and right. It makes me my own god. Therein lies the sin and the separation from God. When we are not jealous, we are have placed our trust in God. When we surrender to God’s will, we have faith that He has our best interest at heart. We trust that this journey He has us on at this moment in time with this person, or these people in m life is for our ultimate benefit. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that God has plans for us that will prosper us and not harm us. When we trust in God to guide our lives, we develop greater confidence and comfort in the direction of our lives. When we trust in God to guide our lives, we do not depend on others to give us value. When we trust in God to guide our lives, we do not define ourselves by what others have or what others think of us. Man, is that freeing or what?

Jealousy prevents us from being patient and kind. Jealousy prevents us from celebrating others. Jealousy prevents us from enjoying seeing others thrive and be blessed. Jealousy prevents me from enjoying the very thing that I want to keep. Jealousy keeps me wanting what’s next. Jealousy is never satisfied. Jealous always wants more, demands more, until it totally consumes and destroy. Jealousy is about me-me-me. Jealousy is not love. Jealousy is the opposite of love.


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