Let’s Talk About Sex: Now That I Have Your Attention, Read On About 1 Corinthians 7:1-7

Posted: June 23, 2015 in 46-1 Corinthians

1 Corinthians 7:1-40 — This is long passage with many things to write about. We will have to spend a few days here. The several things that we will talk about are first sexual relations between husbands and wives. The second thing will be about marriage to a husband or a wife who is not a believer. The final thing we will talk about is Paul’s point about whether it is best to be single or to be married.

Today let’s talk about 1 Corinthians 7:1-7. Let’s talk about sex! Let’s talk about sex and marriage! Christians in Corinth were surrounded by sexual temptation. The city was famous for sexual immorality and prostitution. It was this kind of society that Paul delivers these instructions on sex and marriage. The church at Corinth needed special, specific instructions because of their culture’s immoral standards. Some Greeks, in rejecting the immorality of the age rejected all things physical including sex. Sexual temptation is difficult to resist in that our sexual drive is a normal aspect of the desires that God gives us. Marriage provides God’s way to satisfy these natural sexual desires and to strengthen the partners against temptation. Married couples have the responsibility to care for each other; therefore, husbands and wives should not withhold themselves sexually from one another should fulfill each other’s needs and desires.

This is a difficult subject to write about. Often in marriage, we find that sex is one thing in marriage that can be misinterpreted, misapplied and cause us to miss what it should be about. As Paul writes this, you will note that he speaks about sex from the point of view of both husbands and wives. Sex is a two way street in marriage. Sexual relations between a husband and a wife should be mutually consenting sexual relations. Sexual relations between a husband and a wife should be for the mutual pleasure of both the woman and the man. Sexual relations should be intimate for the woman. She should feel loved and connected to her husband through sex. A man should be made to feel strong, verile, and manly through his intimate relations with his wife. Sex should accomplish these things for both the husband and the wife. Sexual relations should unite them into a singularity of two souls joined as one just as the marriage itself is supposed to be. Often we find that this is easy when we are just newly married. Sexual relations are easy and are an overflow of passion for one another.

Sexual relations within the confines of marriage are important. It is God ordained. It is God’s way that He has provided us to not only populate the earth but it is the method by which He intended us to grow in intimacy of the soul in marriage. This intimacy of the soul is an example to us of how we will feel in heaven when we are in the presence of God. Sexual relations in marriage is to unite souls with one another. It is not simply about the achievement of orgasm. It is about uniting husband and wife in a level of intimacy that is a reflection of the union of the trinity. Sexual relations in marriage are then to be not simply animalistic conquests, but rather expressions of love and unity. Therefore, our sexual relations should be mutually satisfying. For a woman it is often more the pure intimacy of the physical contact rather than the achievement of orgasm. The orgasm is a by-product of the intimacy she is having with her husband. For a man, the relations are about his wife demonstrating to him that “he’s still got it!” We are just little boys who need to know that we are the top of the heap. We need to know that our wives are just putty in our hands when it comes to sexual desire. There are many more aspects to sexual relations for men and women both but these are the main ideas and we, as men, must understand how our wives approach sex and wives must understand how men approach. We come at sex from different mindsets and we must understand each other’s basic approach to sex and satisfy that approach. Sexual relationship should be about the union of meeting one another’s needs.

Early in marriages, sex is easy. It is filled with desire. It is frequent. As we grow older in marriage and older in age, sex often becomes less frequent and less important. It is important for us to remember as we grow in our marriages that the animal passion will disappear, but that is replaced by real day to day love. We often mistake the loss of passion in a marriage as the loss of love. We are taught by media that love and passion are one and the same. This keeps the wheels turning in the divorce industry. This keeps the wheels turning in so many industries. We have bought into the fact that we must have that same animalistic passion for our spouse that we had when we first married. This is simply not true. Sexual passion at the peak of early marriage is simply untenable. High levels of performance are unique to specific periods of time. Constant sexual passion is the same way. It is after that high level of passion passes away that we find out what our marriages are truly made of.

Love is more than passion. Love is looking at your wife and feeling contentment in your soul for the normalcy that she brought to your life. Love is looking at your wife and imagining the horror of what life would be like had you not encountered her. Love is looking at your wife and simply enjoying being with her. My mother gave me advice many years ago that I should have followed in my life and did not until I married Elena. My mother said, “you need to marry a girl with whom you can be best friends outside the bedroom as much as you are best friends in the bedroom.” Make sure that you marry someone that you simply love being with. Let us be certain of the one that we marry is the one you can sit and watch TV together and feel like all is right with the world. Don’t marry someone for sex alone. Sex and love are two different things.

Don’t get me wrong sex is important in a marriage. The lack of sex can destroy a marriage more quickly than anything else. The lack of sex can lead to adultery and other sins. It is important. We must make sex a priority in our marriages by meeting the soul needs of our spouse in the bedroom, but let us keep in mind that sex is not the sole purpose of marriage. It is the crowning achievement of marriage. It is the example of intimacy that God wants us to have. Sex is a reflection of the soul unity that He wants us to have in our marriages. He wants it to be a symbol of intimacy of marriage. Meeting each other’s needs in the bedroom leads us toward meeting each other’s needs outside it. The closeness of sex leads us to the unity in all areas of marriage that God wants for us!

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